Thursday, January 28, 2016

Cycling Humor

Some excerpts I came a crossed with...I really got a kick out of these, hope you too

Image Credit: Wilsoninfo.com
1. A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. "What've I done, officer?" asks the rider. "Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back". "Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!

2. A tired cyclist stuck his thumb out for a lift: After 3 hours, hadn't got anyone to stop. Finally, a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. But the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider: "If I go too fast, ring your bell and I'll slow down. Everything went well until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap. The cop with the radar gun and radioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph. He then relayed, "and you're not going to believe this, but there's a cyclist behind them ringing his bell to pass!".

3. Jack and Jill have just climbed Le Alp de Huez on a tandem: "Phew that was a tough climb" said Jack "Thought I was going to bonk". "Yeah good job I kept the brakes on" said Jill "or we'd have slid all the way back down!"

4. YOU KNOW YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CYCLING IF....
- Your bikes are worth more than your car.
- You hear someone had a crash and your first question is "How's the bike?".
- You have stopped even trying to explain to your other half why you need more than one bike...you just go buy another one and figure it will all work out in the divorce settlement.
- You have more money invested in your bike clothes than in the rest of your combined wardrobe.
- “Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries” is for you.
- You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young thing ride by, and the first thing you check out is his or her bicycle.
- Despite all that winter weight you put on, you'll take-off weight by buying titanium components.
- You use wax on your chain, AND on your legs.
- Your current bike is older than your grown up children.
- You yell "Car!" when passing another car, and "Bump!" when you see a pothole - while driving your car.
- Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car's odometer.
- When you move to a new area the first thing you look for is a bike shop.
- You clean your bike(s) more often than your house.
- You put your bike in your car and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4 (or better).
- You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your mates at 5:30 AM for a hundred-miler.
- Your New Year’s resolution is to put more miles on your bike than your car, and you do it.
- You can tell your other half, with a straight face that it's too hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.
- You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your speed is.
- When driving your car, you lean over the steering wheel, just like an aerobar.
- Your kids bring a rear derailleur to "Show & Tell".
- Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and cycling gear.
- You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.
- You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.
- There is no time like the present, for postponing what you ought to be doing, and go bicycling instead.
- You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose. SNOT ROCKET!
- You smile at your evening date, and she politely points out that you seem to have bugs in your teeth.

No comments:

Post a Comment